Finding my BLISS...

Finding my Bliss... Week 2 of Crafting my Life (Below is my response in our Ning group)

What I dreamed of as a child...

• to one day own a horse
• to go to Sable Island and photograph the wild horses
• and that's all I remember!

What makes me happy presently?

• Family- having quiet time or fun time or big gatherings with family, or even just a nice cuddle on the couch with my husband
• Creating- whether it be drawing or painting, scrapbooking, mixed media art, felting or handsewing...I am truly happy when I am creating...I just need to do it MORE!
• Nature- be it a walk on the beach, or through the forest, or camping. There is something blissful for me about being in the middle of nowhere and being one with nature
• Treasure hunting- Not much makes me happier then when I am at Value Village or a yard sale and I stumble across a great deal!. I hate shopping but treasure hunting is a passion :)
• Dancing- (even though I need some liquid courage and I am not good at it)
• Solitude- being in a candle bath all alone, or sitting and enjoying a good cup of coffee, or enjoying a good book
• Handmade- I have to admit I have a handmade addiction... I try to make gifts, and if I don't have the time or abilities I try to buy handmade. I love surfing Etsy (Amber D (woodmouse) has a wonderful shop and service...we have some of her lovelies, as well as mamakopp, mamaroots, jalu toys, just hatched, princess nimble thimble and many more ), just looking at all the wooden and handmade goodness makes me happy and when the box arrives...I am usually more happy about the wooden toys then my kids are!
• Blogs- Reading blogs is very blissful for me as they give me great inspiration and usually when I do get to sit and read it's when the kids are asleep and hubby is busy so it's what I do in the little bit of me time I have. I also find it very blissful to write on my own blog (www.siayla.blogspot.com) . I was absent for quite awhile but am slowly getting back into it and I have found I missed it so much!
• Storytelling- I love to create and retell stories to children especially with props like my wooden goodness or with puppets etc. The magic in a child's face is so rewarding as they listen so intently to your every word.
• Snorkeling- There is something very rewarding about swimming in the big vast ocean and sharing it with all the creatures there
• Horseback riding- Becoming one with a horse is sooo much more then just going for a trail ride...having that relationship and that respect for eachother
• Photography- I am not good at it, I know nothing about it really but I get so excited when I capture the perfect shot! Or when I get close enough to a bear, or owl or orca on the trails to get a wonderful picture. I think that is why I like scrapbooking...I love capturing memories on film and then displaying them.

What I Dream of for the future...

• to live a more simple life
• to learn how to can and preserve food from a garden I have yet to one day create
• to build an earthship (hoefully at or very near the ocean or a lake)
• to have a barn with yes you guessed it...horses
• to have the abilities to be self sustained so we can travel and enjoy life and not worry about bills

Some of these things you may read and say, "yes this makes you happy but does it bring you bliss?" and the answer is "YES!" I am a very passionate person and the things in life that bring me happiness, bring me bliss. Life is too short to not enjoy each bit of happiness to the full extent! So go out there and if eating chocolate makes you happy then have a big ol' bite and savor ever sense you feel when eating it...allow yourself that bliss!

...now I just need to make the time to be able to do these things to achieve my BLISS!

Taking Stock

As I mentioned in my last post I have joined Crafting my Life HERE. I am over a week behind but have just finished my first task and it feels good to finally sit down and take the time to do this. I did afterall join this ecourse for a reason...

This task was to Take Stock... to think about who we are and what matters to us, to think about who we are and who we want to be... to take stock...Here is what I discovered about me... (I decided to repost my comment from our Ning group)

"I am lets just say doing one of the things I do best...procrastinating...well not even. I just haven't been able to force myself to take the time to sit down for ME and actually do these tasks. I have popped on here on occasion and read a few discussions briefly but haven't made the time to get busy. I do really WANT to and tonight is my night to start. I am hoping after biting the bullet and starting that this will come a little easier for me.

My lists are a scatterings of 4 pages of journal notes which I will try to short-form here :) I tend to be long winded yet I always feel like I trip over the words and they don't come out very easily.

I am creative, trustworthy, honest, reliable, a hardworker, obsessive, a perfectionist, procrastinator, quiet, laid back, patient (most of the time), positive, compassionate, caring, shy, sensitive, great with kids, a hands on learner, believer of process not product...

I love creating, crafting, reading, spending time with family, nature and the out doors, camping, quading, horseback riding, hot tubbing, nature walks, treasure hunting, photography or rather taking pictures, sleeping in, coffee, scrapbooking

(when I look at my list of loves I feel sad as most of them I don't have time or rather don't make the time for enough)

I believe a positive attitude will bring positive actions (this helped me and still helps me everday while living with the effects of MS)

I like my box I live in and am scared to venture too far out for fear of critisim or what others might think...really deep down I wish I were more brave, so perhaps I don't really like my box...I am just used to it and therefore am comfortable in it and scared to venture from the known to the unknown...

I really really want to homeschool but I am scared to for fear of not being able to provide my children with all the opportunities they deserve. I am scared to send my 4 year old to school in September. I feel like I am setting her up for failure as I think the school system will have too much structure for her...or will it be good? Perhaps I am not structured enough???

I am terrible at saying no. I load way to much on my plate and wonder why I can't get everything finished and become overwhelmed, then unmotivated to do anything until the pressure is really on.

I have high expectations of my self, almost unattainably high...I am super woman afterall...I should be able to do everything that is asked of me on a daily basis...right? I hate feeling as if I may fail at something and would rather not try something new then take the chance of looking like a fool. I take care and pride in everything I do. I am a doer and need to learn to delegate and ask for help.

I love to read blogs and blog myself and wish I made more time to do it more regular.

I HATE confrontation and would rather give in then cause an uproar even if I know I am right.

I live in clutter and am a pack rat. I get attached to things and have a hard time letting go beacuase I might need it someday...I don't mind it but it drives my husband crazy! I am not good at keeping the house clean but hey that makes our house a home :) We'd rather play then work ;)

I am scared to death of dying and I try to live life for the moment and to the fullest. We have one life to live so we might as well make it count and be as happy as we can!

I hate that my children both have health issues that are very trying on our family. I love it when my 4 year old can smile at you and melt your heart even right after a tantrum that makes you want to pound her! I also love it when my 3 year old laughs her belly laughs and smiles with her eyes even though she can not speak yet. I love that my 22 year old and I are so close...more like best friends then mother daughter.

Weird facts about me...

I have a small bald spot on the back of my head thanks to my brother in childhood

I love horses, orca's and dragonflys

I could eat cheesecake everyday

I love sleeping in

I love coffee any time of the day or night!

I am an obsessive treasure hunter be it at a yardsale, value village, thriftstore etc...

OK I'll end now...Taking stock has brought some items to my attention...most importantly...I LOVE my loves and need to do them more!!!

Thank you Amber!"

torn....

My heart tells me to homeschool but yet I went to register Sierra for kindergarten this am. It feels awful. You fill out the registration form and they ask you about any other information to help asses the "needs of your child".

I am honest...Sierra is hard work! She is my "spirited" child and although that is wonderful and no one will ever do her wrong, she has a regulatory emotional disorder and although she is as sweet as pie, and too smart for her own good, with a memory of an elephant! She also can not regulate the emotions in which she is feeling so when she is excited, or scared or happy it all comes out in a whirlwind of excess energy, with bouts of yelling and buzzing around like a bee who was high on too much sugar. She can not be easily calmed down. She has to almost explode before she can be reined back in.

At preschool she has a supported childcare worker to help her work through her emotions and deal with the outburst when they happen so as to not disturb the rest of the class. I inform the school of this, and that I feel Sierra will need extra support in the classroom to help her manage throughout the day. To help her succeed and also be less of a disturbance to the class. The secretary says to me, "but kindergarten is all day next year!" Yes I know and it scares me silly. Will Sierra thrive in school or will she be lost in the mix of over crowded classes with long days. Full day kindergarten! Oh my! Am I setting her up for failure?

My family believes I should give her the chance to succeed at school (my mom is a teacher). That I can always pull her out and homeschool if I need to. I am torn...

Can I really homeschool Sierra? I wish I could easily say yes. I read so many blogs of wonderful families who homeschool. They can do it...why can't I? Because I am scared to...I want to but I don't have faith in my abilities to do a good job. My back ground is Early Childhood Education so I know I can "teach" but homeschooling is more then that. Can I follow her lead? Can I let go of my plans for the day and allow her to guide her learning? Will she learn enough from me? Does her temperament need to be lead and taught or does she need more freedom of choice? If only children came with manuals at birth...it would make things so much easier!

I wish I had the courage to try homeschooling right from the beginning, but I am afraid I would be holding her back...how will she fare in the real world after being homeschooled all her life? I am scared of the unknown, chicken to try it and stuck being torn...

the year ahead

The new year brings with it thoughts about resolutions...what is it I want to achieve this year? or with my life?

Most importantly I want to spend quality time with my family. It has been a long couple of years! Selling off our business was our first step to achieving this. However with closing of the businesses it leaves me with left over stock from the store piling up ever inch of our garage and then resources I kept from selling the daycare lining all of my halls and spare areas. You think I am kidding?

This is my living room...sales till and computers for me to finish the inventory at the store so I can get it on a website, so I can sell it and get my garage back!
The top of my stairs where the daycare resources...well some of them are stored...
Our spare bathroom...stored to the ceiling with stuff from the daycare...
So my next resolution...claiming my house back! Especially mt spare room which is my craft room. It's so piled up I am too embarrassed to post a picture of! I've signed up for 2 courses which brings me to my next resolution...

Finding time for me! My life as many of yours is lived for our husbands/partners, or for our kids, or just helping out the neighbour. We are generous, caring and kind and we want to help others but we forget to take care of ourselves. My giving nature is part of why childcare has always been so important to me and my love of helping and teaching others.

When I have time I love to craft, to create; maybe it's a painting, or a drawing, or a scrapbook page, or making a card, or reading...these are things I love, but also things in which have been neglected in the past couple of years as I play wife and mother. Don't get me wrong...I LOVE my husband and my kids, my family and I am not meaning to complain but as I spend so much time caring for, helping them, I feel like I have lost a piece of me. I never have time to craft, or to read, to create, to bake...I want some of those simple pleasures back for me....am I selfish? I don't think so I thinks it is necessary to be totally happy and healthy. I love my life...I am happy but I think one can obtain a higher happiness.

My thoughts of taking time for me led me to join a course called Inside Out found HERE. (registration is now closed but she will do another one I am sure). It started on Jan 17th and luckily it's a daily work as you can type course because today is Jan 24th...I am a week behind as I have logged in to view the work briefly in a spare minute here or a spare minute there but have yet to open my journal and begin. (part of that is because I bought a journal and it is buried in my craft room and I haven't wanted to "waste" the money on a new journal for "myself" since there is a perfectly good one sitting somewhere in the disaster I call a craft room! Perhaps I should bite the bullet and buy a new journal, and stop procrastinating and using that as an excuse...make the time for me!!!)

The other is Crafting my Life click HERE (again registration is closed and this is her first course but I am sure she will also do this again) from a fellow local blogger Amber of Strocel.com.

I have paid for both courses for a reason...they interest me, they are supposed to force me to take the time for me and find out what is so important to me to actually be ME! Now I need to allow myself to take the time for myself and actually complete the courses!

My last is to live a simpler life. We get caught up in the rat race and forget to slow down and appreciate all the little things we take for granted...like mud puddles and rainbows, and spring plants bursting out of the ground with new life. We get caught up in all the "things" we think we need...and I am guilty of that too but I also see the beauty in handmade gifts, homemade bread, and a home cooked meal, a walk through the forest, all the natural wonders around us.

I think back to my own childhood and remember hour upon hour of exploring the forest and creek behind our rural Nova Scotia home, of my mom working in a huge garden to grow and prepare food to preserve to last all winter. I think these are the building blocks which lead to a simpler life...a life lit by candles not with lights left on in every room even when you aren't in them, where kids roam the wilderness, not watch it on TV, where you make something you need to wear, not run to the store and buy one, where you grow your own food and appreciate the meal so much more, then filing a fridge with excess amounts of groceries which just spoil because you end up eating out.

Here's to 2011, may you all find peace and happiness and may I get my cleaning and organizing done so I can have more quality time with our family, and yet still enough time for me to focus on who I am and what I want to be...and in doing that I believe I will then have my simpler life.

Ending 2010 with magical Memories

We spent a Magical week at Disneyland and California adventure! Below Daddy and Aayla talking with grammy Sue as we await the opening of Disney on our first morning and then next as we are entering through the castle to fantasy land. This is one photo I wish I was in. We didn't manage to get one photo of all 5 of us :( Also I should mention this post is a wee bit long as sorting through 1600 pictures was hard!

How do you spend a week in Disneyland??? Easy with preschoolers! It was such an amazing trip allowing them the time and freedom to go on their favourite rides as many times as they wanted each day. No rush and hustle and bustle to get something done or get somewhere...just a slow pace, slowed down even more by the busy holiday lines, but that didn't matter!

We went where they wanted...we rode Dumbo,
the teacups


and the carousel at Disney
and the Grouchy lady bugs,

Monster Inc and Toy Story
and King Tritons Carousel at California Adventure more then a dozen times each I am sure.
And even in the rain we had a blast!!! You can't help but smile when in the middle of disney after some rain with so much going on, how simple pleasures are still the best! Like jumping in mud puddles
and shadow dancing
Sometimes the we forget to enjoy the simple things in life...but our children easily remind us and I thank them for that. And then after the rain...all the characters come out...here are a couple that we only saw this one day :) We saw so many characters though it was such fun!!!
We sailed the sea to treasure island...here Sierra says, "Arrggg there mayte!"
and here Sierra shows grammy the wonderful "treasure" she found on treasure island...a rusty old nut and bolt...and yes, we brought it home :)
We visited with Mickey Mouse and Mini Mouse and Sierra had a blast on the go go gadget coaster. Aayla wanted to go on it to so we gave it a try and I thought we would both have heart attacks. Thankfully the ride was only about a minute long because Aayla literally almost jumped out of the car. She screamed and squiggled and wriggled so much and was in such a panic it was HORRIBLE to see and hear her. Yet when we stopped. she wanted to go again...but alas, mommy said NO!!! We went to visit Minnies house again and did her dishes, had some cookies and baked a cake. This picture of Aayla below is one she requested. She had so much fun in Minnies house that she pulled me over, pointed to the camera and wanted her picture taken :)
In front of Mickeys house
With Pooh and Eeore
We participated in the Royal Coronation ceremony, and Story time almost daily with all the princesses





This Ariel was truely magical and made all Sierras dreams come true. She took the time to make sure Sierra was ready to move on, ignoring the line up growing behind us. Sierra got to dance with Ariel, pinky swear to always be best friends and of course hugs! It was truely special to watch Ariel understand how important she was in Sierras eyes. Even when we tried to get Sierra to move on because a line was building...Ariel told us no, Sierra could have as much time as she wanted. Something Sierra will remember forever I am sure...she is now best friends with Ariel. We had to watch the parade about 3 times in hopes of catching a glimpse of Ariel and she danced away with Eric.

We even ran into an old friend. Karey not only taught Sierra dance but she also taught Meadow when Meadow was a little girl too. In the great big scheme of things it really is such a small world!

We had a character breakfast which was great fun! Expensive for breakfast but worth every penny! The characters all walk around and come see you at your tables, stay for awhile for photos and interaction...such a treat!

We also had lunch at Ariels Grotto in California adventure. To be honest I preferred the breakfast. There were characters and they stayed around longer. The girls had a lot of fun and where so excited though to have each princess pop by the table. Sierra was very disappointed that she only got to see Ariel on the way into the grotto briefly and she didn`t get to come and see her at the table! They are best friends afterall :)


Despite all the fun, there was still time for a tantrum or two...Aayla might not be able to talk but she can sure howl!
and we brought in 2011 having a blast even though it was cool, even though it rained, thankful for an amazing trip, full of adventures and magical memories that will last a lifetime.


WELCOME 2011!!!

What's kept us busy???

With selling our businesses and now staying home, everyone asks me how I am enjoying all the free time! HA!!!! I haven't had a moment to spare. We are still trying to find our groove and with the hustle and bustle of Christmas there certainly wasn't much relaxing.

What's kept us busy?

Baking cookies:
Decorating and Eating Cookies:
Christmas Concerts:
Siblings with Santa...can you believe this is the first picture of all 3 of my girls with Santa!!!!:
Garland making:

Making Gingerbread Houses:

Enjoying Christmas Morning with Family:
(Sierras all time favourite princess...Ariel)

(Aayla so excited to receive her now Dora books and wooden Dora and Boots by Mamakopp)

(Enjoying a new book with Sissy Meadow-above, and Sierra snuggling with Grammy Sue -below)
(Aayla -pictured here with Sissy Meadows boyfriend Andrew, goes to speech therapy weekly and one of her tasks is to learn to blow on command. When I saw this Thomas whistle I knew it would be the perfect thing to help us with this task ...she is a Thomas fan for sure and loves to toot her train whistle!)

(Daddy is the main cook in our house and he is always asking for a bigger metal bowl then my Pyrex bowls so he was quite happy with his new bowl)
(Stable and horses above by Jalutoys, treefort below by Manzanitakids)

The girls learning we are about to hop on a plane and head to DISNEYLAND!!!!

From all of us...Hoping you enjoyed your Christmas season celebrating together however you celebrate, enjoying time as a family :)